If this is the new hope, I’d hate to see the old one.

I bet they’re in the shallow end.

Sink, don’t swim.

Well, now we know why the pool filter keeps getting clogged with chunks of mascara and shreds of tutu.

Sooo… drag queen, right?

Lots of Suuuugar!

I prefer Splenda.

I prefer anthrax.

Yes, you too can own this De-Luxe 2 record set!

Nurse, we need some anti-inflammatories in here STAT.

Travolta was misdiagnosed–that’s no fever, it’s swine flu!

Jem is excitement!

I never fully realized how blessed I was to grow up without television until this moment. Dad… Mom… thank you.

Jem is adventure! … Jem is truly, truly, truly outrageous!

Yeah, that’s not annoying or anything.