Don’t Touch My Mustache

June 4, 2012

Don't Touch My Mustache

… or I’ll gore you with my frickin’ unicorn puppet!

Metal bands have gone so soft this decade.



January 10, 2012


Obviously it is a myth that happy cows come from California.

If you put your hand up there he’s going to kick you in the cheddar.

And then they discovered why Bessie hadn’t been making her milk quota for quite some time.

First there was Kobe beef, then there was TORMENT beef – a totally new approach.  Cows are released into a field with disturbed metal heads!

Fear brings out the flavor.


Angel – Winter Song

June 20, 2011


There’s a feeling in the air… and it’s called pneumonia.

Wearing a backless onesie in this kind of weather? Someone’s mom didn’t see how they were dressed before leaving the house.

Rock n’ roll feels no pain.

Rock n’ roll lost two toes and a nipple to frostbite to bring us this masterpiece.


Holy Right

April 25, 2011


This album is dedicated to those who have not yet received the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior… WE’RE COMING FOR YOU.

It really should be dedicated to ‘Paws n Claws’, the pet grooming shop on 11th street that does their hair.

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