He’s so hot, he makes the desert look cool.

Wasn’t this the cover photo of the AAA State Tourist Guide, circa 1987?

The tattoo should read: ‘Born To Suck!’

Momma didn’t love him.

What… is that logo? A muscular trout?

Ugly is as ugly does.

Drink first. Sing later.

Everything is better with beer… except this song!

No, it’s not magically delicious… that’s just alcohol.

Yes ladies, I’m Irish.

He should really stop shopping at Victor(ia?)’s Secret.

“Thangs Got to Change”??! You can start with your shirt!

…and the hat!

…and your graphic designer!