How is this Valentine’s Day related?

This is why you’re still single, dude.

Nothing says love like midgets in makeup…

…drinking fake blood.

I thought there was nothing worse than KISS… I have been proven wrong.

Help me out, boys, what’s that breed of dog that has hair like this?

Frankly, Dan, I don’t think many ladies have a fancy quite this… umm… refined.

He must eat Fancy Feast.

Comb-over of DOOM.

Whatever ‘flowers grew on that mountain’ have long since wilted and died.

Myrna looks like she’s about to commit matricide.

Truly touching–so much joy.

I’m moving off the mountain. Poor mountain!

Microsoft’s Songsmith software is bringing much laughter to an adoring public these days. To clarify, Redmond, we’re laughing at you, not with you.

Coming to the Ramada Room next Thursday!

ROCK n’ ROLL!

Wait, you mean Van Halen doesn’t sound like this? I think I might like it better this way.

David Lee Roth sounds like he’s getting neutered.